Sailing or Soaring
All throughout college, my film friends would get on me for notoriously saying, “I don’t like watching movies.” “How am I supposed to feel comfortable with you directing my script if you don’t enjoy watching films?” my one friend would sometimes say. In all honesty, it wasn’t that I didn’t like watching films. (How could I not enjoy watching films?) It was really that I didn’t want to know too much. I didn’t want to be influenced too much or inspired in the wrong way and I definitely didn’t want to be faking anything. Plus, in college, watching films was homework for us and I was never one for homework (or school). So what happened to the films I made? I came to everything fresh. I knew who I was as a director. What I wanted as a storyteller and what I strived to evoke from my audience. Honestly? My films were alright, but it was more the fresh perspective and untouched creativity that ring a resounding bell in my life today when I look back on it. The only way/rhyme/reason my films are better now (even though I don’t really totally agree with this) is because I am more seasoned, I’m shooting constantly and I have way better gear to work with. But to me, I’m not better. I’m just sailing.
The thing is, in the pursuit of creativity, in the quest for memorable storytelling, you have to KNOW who.you.are. You have to trust in yourself and allow yourself to gather inspiration and weed out too much influence. Influence is an interesting term. I’m influenced by my parents, by Mark, by my closest friends… and that’s about it. Influence, to me, is beyond inspiration. It’s trusting in another source enough to let it change or mold you. With my creative life, I find it so easy to be inspired but so difficult to be influenced – and at least I am proud of that. But I could be better with this, and all of us creatives could (especially in the wedding industry).
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the importance of inspiration vs. influence. Do I even need either? What would my work be like uninspired? Uninfluenced? I’ve been pondering letting go of social media – as much as possible – and not letting myself watch other wedding films. Judging by my college days, I think it could only help me. I’m on a quest to bring real cinema back into weddings, to bring my directorial perspective to my films, no matter what I am capturing on the other side of the lens. I think the world is getting all too cluttered with copycat creatives and wannabe workerbees and it’s time we all decide one thing: do I want to sail? Or do I want to soar?
Here’s to soaring.
April 3, 2011
