With you.

I made this for Mark for Valentine’s Day with the brief explanation, “This is how I feel when I’m around you.” (Like a happy, dancing elephant in a tutu – that’s right. If you know me, you understand.) (This is a great statement.)

— My watercolor teacher says I have my own “style.” I say, I just can’t leave the kid behind. (More of these to come.)

March 10, 2011  Leave a comment

Life (in photos) Lately.

Lately has been pretty outstanding. Flooded with inspiration, productivity, new projects, new potentials and a ton of enjoyment in the daily swing of things – which isn’t always easy to say, am I wrong? I am happy to say life is happy. But there is more to life in the present moment than all of the pretty and sometimes insignificant things that keep me pleased.

Before I go off on a tangent about what is really going on in the world right now and what else really fills up my brain’s extra space, (save this for a later post) let me just say that life is too short to waste. With stressful jobs, meaningless jobs, SLAVE-LIKE jobs (which too many people have these days because of the way most businesses function in this “economy”), bad food, unhealthy food, UNSAVORY food, repetitive music (like what’s on the radio, even you XPN, cough), horrifyingly tasteless music (okay, my opinions about music are serious), little sleep, too much time in front of a screen (GUILTY.) and not enough time spent with those we love and couldn’t live without (both near and far).

This is my life, lately, in photos. And the way I see it is – we take pictures of the things we want to remember (the things that are too good to lose to a failing memory and we (I mean – I) write about the things that are so terrible we want to forget them completely. Call it untrue, call it strange, whatever it is, I know what’s below is a testament to my statement:

March 9, 2011  1 Comment

Two months of creative freedom

starts today. Isn’t that GREAT? It’s so great to write and to say. I can’t believe it but yesterday, I finally completed all of the (paid/contracted) work on my plate that had been piling on since June 2010. JUNE 2010!!! That’s 8 months ago. When I went full-time self employment in September 2010, I thought for certain I would be bored/poor/searching for productivity by Thanksgiving. Or at least Christmas. I never thought work would keep me busy for this long. Well, now I know… you just can’t plan some things. And that’s a pleasant statement.

So… “Now what?” you ask. NOW is what I have been waiting for since September – a chance to put into motion the 1,000 ideas/projects/stories/films/secrets/dreams/hopes that I have piled up since… since even June 2007. That’s right. For nearly four years, mind-melting ideas have been locked away in my ever-expanding brain. Most of what I am now finally working on has dawned on me in the last 4 months, but some of what I am hoping to accomplish has been sitting around, collecting cerebral dust for far longer.

Before I reveal too much of what I have in store for myself (and the world… the world, people), I want to post a few other things that have been happening as of late.

Last night, Mark and I trekked out to Johnstown, PA – a 2.5 hour drive (one way) – to see his good friend and filmmaker/artist/creator extraordinaire, Brent Green, perform a live screening of his short films. It was quite a journey, filled with sleepy delirious statements (since we were out wayyyy past our bedtime) and odd performances involving men in white suits making loud noise and a “top 5 most depressing” porn TV show (yes.) but it was unbelievably worth it. You can’t dig up inspiration this good (and I’m not talking about the porn, folks) if you tried to, especially on the Internet. Or in books. This is what happens when you venture out to a small, cold, dark church where two dozen or so people are gathered to play music and screen their films. Real life, real inspiration, right before your eyes. I was captivated.

So. For your listening + viewing pleasure, Brent Green’s “Hadacol Christmas,” performed with live narration, score and foley at VOMA (Venue of Merging Arts, Johnstown, PA) on February 22, 2011:

February 24, 2011  Leave a comment

Inspiration Lately.

Lately has been comprised of an uncontrollable stream of strangely great ideas. I have slacked on writing new posts because my mind has been wracked with such (secret plans/)ideas. So, I thought I’d share a bit of my inspiration/merriment lately that has lead to a few great new beginnings:

(I haven’t listened to this album but I can’t stop loving) This album cover:

The (bonus) acoustic tracks on this album:

Photos (such as the header) taken by my dear friend Jillian McGrath:

The Spring 2011 Collection from LelaRose:

Obviously BHLDN. (The shoe selections are 100% perfection.):

Mad Men Season 4 (because it’s undeniably cinematic):

Mark’s Keurig. I seriously underestimated the greatness of these. (Thanks, Stephen & Holly!):

GLITTER. (I never was into it but seriously. The way it catches the light? Ah! Jilliannn.):

—2012 will be full of surprises…!

February 16, 2011  1 Comment

Act 2: The only difference between us and stars is time.

“We are literally made from stars.” He said it, not me. Let’s think about that:

Whether you are an evolutionist or a creationist, whether you believe in science or God or not, we are all connected. I’m serious. And if you don’t believe that, you’re a pessimist and well, you should read my other blog (coming soon). Religion aside, think about science for a moment. According to science, we are all made up of atoms – atoms containing some particles that did not exist when Earth was first created. Essentially, the first two elements were hydrogen and helium and the rest? The rest came with a supernova – an exploding star. We couldn’t be human without elements like oxygen, nitrogen, carbon, iron, calcium, etc etc etc. And we couldn’t have elements that make up the human body without a supernova. (The way science defines us, anyhow.) According to science, we are literally, physically late descendants of stars. (And according to other theories, we could someday become stars after human life.)

We have arrived at Act 2 of our program, Act 2. Today we’re talking about those specks in space that seem so unreasonably distant but may actually be as connected to us as a strand of hair on our body. Stars. What do they mean to us, if anything? What do they mean to the world and its fate? Is Astrology all a load of wishy washy pseudo-God-like garbage? Today I’m going to discuss these things and maybe by the end, you will become a little bit closer to the person underneath your own skin – did you even think that was possible?

Enter me, into this world some 23+ odd years ago. A world where I was brought up in a devoutly Catholic family, with close Jewish friends, where I spent 11 years of my life learning in a Catholic setting and 5 years letting loose, educating myself with the rest of the world. I was a pretty straight up kid. Never questioned a thing outside of what I “knew,” never even let my mind wander to the possibilities of so many other life theories. Until somewhere in my last two years of college, I started to wonder what I even knew… about myself and about the rest of the world. What did I know about who I was? I knew I was creative. I knew I was intuitive. I knew I had an unmistakable musical ear. I knew I wasn’t good at talking about serious things, so I wrote people letters, which my parents hated. I knew I had the craziest dreams. I knew that I could influence other people’s dreams. I knew I gave people a lot of chances. I knew I lived for change and that people could change me. I knew I loved to play hide and seek (even when I was 20+ years old and had a few brews in me) and loved hiding in general. I knew I was unfortunately emotional. And that I had an unending love of shoes. These are seemingly stupid notes to make about oneself but as it turns out, it’s this belief that any of our own “little, pointless” characteristics are “meaningless” that is the stupidest sentiment at all. I knew all of these things about myself and knew them for so long. So many of my own characteristics I wrote off as wasteful to even mention – Who cares about my dreams? Who needs to know that I write people letters instead of talking? This is where I was totally wrong. At one point in my life, after living in a bubble of naivety and dating a person equally as traditional thinking as me for over 3 years, I took a leap of faith and jumped over board into the dark abyss that was the rest of the world around me. I had met this guy, whom my intuition told me was the person I’d been searching for, and we reconnected. And then. He pushed me in – in the best way.

My journey into Astrology began with his anecdote: About a month ago, I visited this mystic whom I had met with a few times before, who always made accurate predictions and analyses of my life. She told me my life was going through great change but that I shouldn’t be concerned because, “You will meet a fish who will make you happier than anyone has ever made you and she will change your life forever.” Upon our reconnecting and learning about each other, over and over again he kept saying to me, “You are the most Piscean Pisces I have ever met.” I didn’t ever think about what that meant, until he finally told me the story above and I understood that I was that girl and that he was right and that I had a lot of learning to do.

Suppose you are very traditionally religious and all of this is sounding pseudo-bogus and evil to you. No worries – you may stop reading here. (No seriously, I warned you.)

But suppose you are curious. Curious about uncovering truths about yourself and your relationships and had no idea the answer to unlocking these mysteries was written in the stars. Keep reading, if you’re one of the latter:

Here’s what we’re about to discover through Astrology:

1. The Jewish Perspective: Astrology for personal enlightenment (- not prediction or luck)
2. Astrology can help explain our tendencies towards certain emotions, actions and even ways of dress (enter Sun & Moon signs)
3. Astrology can help explain why we like certain people – and mesh with them – and why we butt heads with others (over and over again)

Let’s begin:

1. The Jewish Perspective. It isn’t defined in Jewish tradition that Astrology is condemned or accepted, but studies have shown that Hebrew scholars have used astrology to help aid personal understanding and growth – and some studies even report that the Jewish Calendar is linked to the Zodiac. Though Christian religions firmly reject Astrology for the sole basis of its ability for people to “play God,” which Jewish tradition also does not reportedly agree with, Hebrew studies tend to look beyond the surface, uncovering the truth in God’s astronomical design. In one study, a Rabbi reported, “In order for us to have a close ongoing personal relationship with God, we need to keep the perspective that He is involved with every aspect of life. Even though He designed the heavens to have a complex system of influence, He did not set it up and walk away.” Think about that bold statement. If you are a creationist and disapprove of the science of how we came to be, then this is obviously true. Step one of exploring Astrology (for me) was this route: learn it from a Rabbi: (Below are 1 hour video programs on Jewish interpretation of each sign of the Zodiac. Enjoy. )

• Aries
• Taurus
• Gemini
• Cancer
• Leo
• Virgo
• Libra
• Scorpio
• Sagittarius
• Capricorn
• Aquarius
• Pisces

2. Sun & Moon Signs. In basic Astrology, we all know about our sun signs – the basic Zodiac signs – determined by our date of birth. For some, the Sun sign is the most prominent defining sign, and for others, its their Moon sign. Your Moon sign is determined by the hour of your birth. (For me, this is a complicated thing because I was born at midnight. This means, my true moon sign puts my birthday a day later – but since I’m a twin, no one splits us up. Thank God.) You can determine your moon sign here. (PS Sorry for the unfortunate looking websites. Tends to be the case with this kind of thing.) Sun sign resources are here: Resource 1, Resource 2, Resource 3. (<-- this is more a better resource to calculate and learn about your rising sign and houses. Both of which I haven't mentioned in this article...) If you haven't taken much time in your life to read about your astrological signs and often find yourself wondering why you act/think/feel/believe a certain way, I highly recommend researching into your personal signs as much as possible. (That is if your mind is open to it.) (So I make myself clear: These blog posts are strictly geared towards learning about yourself. I’m not condoning anyone stray from their religion just because I say so. Do what you want and not what I say, please!) Not everyone’s sun and moon signs will be as important to them as they are to me but I would place a heavy wager that by digging deeper into your own signs, you will learn at least something new about yourself. It’s not a crime to be over-informed.

3. Astrological Compatibility. More than any of the above topics, this one is a bit more muddied water (for me), but nonetheless, this is still an important note. In Astrology, star signs have compatibility and lack-there-of with other star signs. I have read numerous conflicting articles on what signs work well with each other, so this isn’t the most defined thing I can write about. Regardless, the best thing anyone can do to better their relationships with people on a daily basis is to learn and learn and learn as much as they can about each and every star sign. Let me explain via example: I have found, over time that there are a few signs I cling to and a few I steer clear of. I’ve always had a thing for guys born in October. I could never explain it until I read about it. The Libra man is just the kind of guy I am drawn to – creative, romantic and fair. I’ve always had closer relationships with water signs (Scorpio & Pisces, mostly), found great friends in Tauruses and happy, outgoing people (Aries & Gemini) and have had difficulty dealing with Virgos (my sign’s polar opposite). You could say it’s just what you are drawn to in a person, in general, but in general, every sign has distinct characteristics. I am drawn to people who are positive, open-minded, loyal, creative and go-getters. Aries are uber-positive go-getters, Scorpios and Taurus are loyal, Geminis are open-minded, and Pisces and Libras are creative… to name a few. It never quite hit me until I dove head first into it and discovered why my previous 3 year relationship really didn’t work out. It came down to the fact that we were destined to be great friends – as that was in our nature – but not serious companions because on a serious level, we were operating on 2 different spectrums. I can’t recommend a good enough resource for this aside from doing your own personal research – In my opinion, there aren’t any clear, solid articles out there about true Zodiac compatibility and incompatibility. My best discoveries have been in reading about the other signs and taking better mental notes about who I choose to associate with and disassociate with in my own life.

- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

This is easily the most serious post I have ever and probably will ever write but it’s an important one to me.
I hope it helps in some way. After all, knowledge is power.

February 14, 2011  Leave a comment